Rebecca's Joy

Today, I am three days post kindergarten graduation. I officially turned off the light of my classroom two days ago, and wept as my dear friend prayed with me for the future God has ordained for our family. It feels slightly odd knowing that I have “plans” yet not knowing when, where, how, or why those plans will come fruition. However, sometimes, I must step out in trust and faith and believe that is enough, and that the knowing is not always best in the present, but will be appreciated once I look back on this milestone. I do know that I am sitting in the airport, ready to go snuggle my brand new nephew and to be aunt to the most precious little people for the next few weeks. 

Here’s a recap of what happened this month: 

Completed Tasks this Month: 

• Adoption video: This was the most monumental aspect of our presentation materials. It is the one part of our profile that is most viewed and can be the deciding factor for birth mothers. 
• Mother’s Day: Another Mother’s Day without a child or my mother (Rebecca), yet it was a sweet time of celebrating and loving the moms’ in our lives, as well as a time of reflection and thanksgiving. In my past experiences, I never know if it will be a tremendous pain or a tolerable event. Thankfully, this year, I was content to just be present, to feel the sting but not be dragged into the pit of despair. I hugged a sweet gal in my church after the service, accutely knowing the pain she is going through (infertility), and also aware that these pivitol moments are the canvas on which God is orchestrating a magnificent story. In these moments, I am keenly aware of the great grace, compassion, and growth these past 16 Mother’s Days have brought. Also, thankful for a mom and two babies in heaven. 
• Officially, all of our paperwork is complete! We are just waiting for a phone call
• I (Rebecca) finished teaching kindergarten and will not be returning in the fall.

In Progress: 

• Xeriscaping our yard (we got one half of the rock delivered and raked. We are going to finish the other half this month (and hopefully a permanent gate). 
• Finding my next project/adventure (maybe I’ll be writing, tutoring, ministering, who knows?). 
• Decluttering-We have a lot of stuff to clean out, especially after I cleared my classroom. Frank said, “How is that you have all this stuff?” I was thinking, “This isn’t that bad!” I guess perspective is everything. 

Adoption Education Corner: What Birth Mother’s Are Looking For? What’s your status? 

I find it interesting and intriguing when people ask how will a birth mother pick us. When we watched the movie, “Lifemark” the deciding factor was the way the adoptive mom threaded her worm on a fishing hook. Our adoption agency, Lifetime Adoption wrote a response in their article, “The Bottom Line About Being Picked by a Birth Mother.” In summary, a birth mother will pick an adoptive family in which she feels connected to. There is no “one size fits all” mentality and only she will determine what those factors are and who will raise her baby. Feel free to read more here(article referenced). 

We have been asked what our status is. In some adoption agencies, there is a list, where the higher you are on the list, the closer you are to being chosen. Also, I have had peers who have known how many birth families are looking at their profile in a given month, or how many adoptions the agency has facilitated. We are with an agency that shows our profile to birth families, so long as our preferences are aligned with her preferences. They do not tell us how many birth families looked at our profile. We are simply waiting for a call that a birth mother would like to speak with us or that there is a baby waiting for us. 

To be honest, I much prefer to be on a need to know basis. I have been in several situations where the knowing truthfully has been more harmful than helpful. For example, when my mom passed from cancer, I could opt to take a test that would indicate, by percentage, the likelihood of my having the same cancer. It was a clear and easy no. I would rather live my life, enjoy my days, and not fear a “statistic” rolling around in my head. I know what to look for, and to be wise in my seeking medical attention when necessary. 

As we turn a corner towards the waiting period, without much to do, I can honestly tell you I have no idea what is ahead. There is no guarantee of a baby, and from the start, we have set our hearts on glorifying God above all else. For the foreseeable future, I plan on sharing monthly updates. They may gear towards the homefront, but nevertheless, I hope to continue this “journal” as a testimony and personal memoir to look back upon. 

Love, 

Frank and Rebecca