Rebecca's Joy

Home Study Is Being Finalized: Frank and I are excited that our home study is in its final stages and are thrilled to have completed this significant milestone! 

Temporary Profile: We completed our temporary profile for Lifetime Adoption, which will allow us to be showcased once we make our final payment and complete our home study. 

Profile, Video, and Profile PDF: To finish building our profile, we are working on writing, uploading photos, and developing a video of ourselves. This step is both exciting and humbling. While I work with technology daily, I am far from expert level. When building a profile, we must consider what would make us stand out, describe ourselves briefly, and showcase the type of life we desire to give this child. It is a monumental task, but I trust God will enable us to do well. We are blessed with a team at Lifetime Adoption to guide us in this process. 

Rebecca’s Job: I, Rebecca, decided to stay home with the baby. To facilitate a smooth transition, I have decided to step down from teaching kindergarten. I have seen many people transition from jobs when the time comes, but for teaching, this looks different. If Frank and I were to be placed during the school year, I would leave my students and teaching team. I am looking into alternative transition ideas, such as tutoring from home, utilizing my love for writing, or working remotely from my house. 

Home Renovations: We recently finished renovating our dining room. Frank did a lot of the work, such as the wainscotting, light fixture, painting, and flooring. It has been a labor of love. We bought 49 boxes of LVP (luxury vinyl flooring) from Facebook Marketplace last year. We have slowly renovated the flooring in most of the house. 

Fundraiser Update:

To date, we are at 95% of our goal of $55,000. We are thrilled to say that when we started our journey, we were unsure of just how this whole process would work. At this point, we have $2855.00 left to meet our goal. We are thrilled and humbled by how God has provided. We have a few generous offers to pay our remaining balance and a grant we can apply to, so I ask that you pray for wisdom in navigating the next steps. 

Adoption Education Corner: Cocooning

As I am learning about the adoption world, I am learning that there is a lot of information about adoption, whether true or not, that pertains to the knowledge people perceive, process, and assume about adoption. As Frank and I are learning, I would like to share with you so you can learn alongside us. Along the way, I may share opinions, preferences, or thoughts, but know that it is with grace and gratitude that I make these statements, and I am ok with those thoughts and opinions that differ from ours. If you have questions, please feel free to reach out to one of us, and I am happy to answer your question here or in another format. 

Have you ever had someone you know ask for no visitors post-baby, adoption, or foster care placement? Maybe they refused your offer to hold, feed, diaper, or bathe the baby, and it hurt because you were trying to be helpful? Perhaps you thought they were insensitive to everyone hoping to meet this longed-for child. This purposeful request has a vital foundation reason: bonding. 

The process of growing this bond post-birth is called cocooning. 

It is a temporary nesting phase for forming a trusting relationship with a new child in the home. Children who are placed with adoptive or foster parents often experience the loss of their first parent(s) and, therefore, need to learn secure attachment and nurturing from their primary caregivers, the parents. At times, it is often a traumatic and challenging transition for a vulnerable child, and thus, they need to learn that they can trust their new family to meet their needs. Erik Erickson, a psychosocial expert, calls this the first phase of early development (0-1 yr. old), trust vs. mistrust. You can learn more about this vital stage here. 

When our child says goodbye to their birth mother, they will need time to learn to rely on Frank and me exclusively to meet their needs. We want to be intentional and sensitive to this child’s journey toward learning to trust us, and for a time, we will be staying home to build a trusting relationship. This may look like a request for no visitors or a limited number of people, and we are isolating ourselves from the world. We intend to build vital connections by responding to the child’s needs so they can start associating us with the ones who meet their needs and offer loving connections. It may look like babywearing, skin-to-skin contact, looking directly into the child’s eyes while feeding, allowing them to nap on us, or talking to and cooing at the baby. 

We may need a while before we invite you to hold the baby or help with vital caregiving tasks. It is not intended to be hurtful or exclusive; it is simply an intentional and temporary step toward building a lifetime of trusting and loving relationships. 

Here are a few articles on cocooning: 

What is Cocooning in Adoption and Foster Care?: Focus on the Family

The Importance of Cocooning: Gift of Grace Adoption

Navigating the Cocoon: Adopting.org

Thank you for following along on our journey. I can’t wait to share more updates next month. 

Love, 

Frank and Rebecca